Which Office Jumper Are You?

Like pets, you can tell a lot about a person from their office jumpers.

Or jackets, shawls, gloves or any other item of festive wear (so as not to discriminate) for that matter, particularly on Fridays.

Offices are rarely the perfect temperature (maybe it’s a conspiracy) – in winter it’s always too warm, and in summer the air-con definitely makes you regret not bringing in that embarrassing but super-warm top. And don’t even get me started on spring and autumn – what a game of roulette that is.

office christmas party - office pantry

This is why people resort to the office jumper. It’s the one rock to any worker’s life that allows them to stay sane despite the unnecessary fluctuating temperatures.

As I said before, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a jumper. Maybe you have some special gloves as your inactive hands bear the brunt of the office’s arctic conditions. Or maybe it’s half an earmuff as one side of your head is more exposed to the cold than the other (although if that’s the case I would go and see a doctor too…).

But without further ado, here’s the 100% accurate list of your office’s characters:

The Office Parent

comfy office cardigan - office pantry

But without further ado, here’s the 100% accurate list of your office’s characters:

They’ve witnessed multiple changes in management, they keep the snack box filled and make sure everyone’s signed that birthday card for Tim the Temp.

Uniform: Cardigan. But not just any cardigan, the snuggliest cardigan you’ve ever imagined. The pockets are filled with tissues, ibuprofen and a pair of scissors.

The Sensitive Soul

This person seems a bit too sensitive to the changes in temperature, and so fills their desk drawer (along with all their co-worker’s) with different clothes, so as to be prepared for any temperature-based eventuality.

vintage office range - office pantry

They seem to spend most of their breaks preparing their 45 jumper changes for the couple of hours ahead, both physically and mentally, and they’ll definitely know where the nearest life jacket is.

Uniform: It changes every 28 seconds.

The Freebie Guy

company swag - office pantry

This person goes to conferences with a hiking rucksack in order to grab as many free gizmos as possible. They’re happy to lend you whatever you fancy, so long as no questions are asked…

Uniform: A company jumper

The Vintage Vamp

vintage office clothes - office pantry

You’ll never catch this person in a branded jacket, and you can tell they try really hard to not judge others by the names of brands on their jumpers (for at least 2 seconds anyway). Around the office this person always looks like they’re going out to some place better later, and it’s definitely some place you've never heard of.

Don’t ask them where they got their top either. The answer’s always a one-off vintage fair from some place you’ve also, never heard of.

Uniform: No one knows

The 'Summer Isn't Over Yet' Guy

flip flops in winter - office pantry

This person doesn’t bother with a jacket at any time of the year, even when the office causes your hands to be constantly wrapped around a steaming cup of whatever’s hot (because let’s be honest, you’re not going to drink it). You’re pretty sure you saw them wearing flip flops last Thursday (luckily for the Vintage Vamp’s heart they weren’t crocs) when it was snowing, although you could well have been hallucinating because you were so cold.

Uniform: One layer too few

The Lawyer

what suit to wear in the office? Office Pantry

This Lawyer won’t wear anything except a suit, and they go directly to the cause of any office problem. Wading in regardless of the topic.

If heating’s the issue, they get their own electric heater under their desk so fingers crossed you’re sitting next to them so as to get some of the benefits.

Uniform: Sharp Suits, nothing snazzy.

The World Traveller

alpaca coat - office pantry

This person doesn't need a boring jumper because, in case you haven’t heard their stories yet, they went travelling in their 20s. They have a piece of wordly-wear for every temperature fluctuation, whether it’s a thick and woolly Peruvian alpaca fleece or a sleeveless shirt with some unidentifiable beer brand on the front.

Even though you’re initially annoyed by their insistence to share their memories, you’re secretly really interested in their tales.

Uniform: Something home-made from foreign shores. 


So, which Jumper are you?